XelaMap » Number 4

Joke Corner with Fernando

jose — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:41:28 +0000

Alvaro Colom y Pepito

English: Colom visits a school, and says to the students: I’m here to answer all of your questions. Who has one? Little José raises his hand and says:
I have three questions:
1. What happened with the congressmen who received bribes as part of the tax package?
2. What happened with the Rosenberg case?
3. What’s the justification for all the money being diverted to SOSEP? (a project run by Mrs. Colom.)
Suddenly, the recess bell rings and everybody runs outside to play football with the president.
After 15 minutes they go back into the classroom and the president says: It was a pleasure to be here and I only have time for one more question. So Little Carlos raises his hand and says:
I have five questions, Mr. President:
1. What happened with the congressmen who received bribes as part of the tax package?
2. What happened with the Rosenberg case?
3. What’s the justification for all the money being diverted to SOSEP?
4. Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. WHERE IS LITTLE JOSE?????!!!!!!!!!
(6. Also, now that we’ve published this, where are the XELAMAP guys?)

Español: Colom visita un aula de niños y pregunta: Bueno estoy acá para contestar todas sus preguntas ¿Quién quiere preguntar? Pepito levanta la mano y dice:
Tengo tres preguntas:
1. ¿Que pasó con los diputados que recibieron mordidas en el congreso por el paquete fiscal?
2. ¿Qué sucedió con el Caso Rosenberg?
3. ¿Dónde está la justificación de tanto dinero desviado a SOSEP?
De repente suena la campana de recreo y todos salen a jugar futbol con el presidente.
Luego de 15 minutos regresan al aula y el presidente dice:
Bueno fue un gusto estar con ustedes y solo tengo tiempo para unas preguntas más. Entonces Carlitos levanta su mano y dice:
Tengo cinco preguntas señor presidente:
1. ¿Que pasó con los diputados que recibieron mordidas en el congreso por el paquete fiscal?
2. ¿Qué sucedió con el Caso Rosenberg?
3. ¿Dónde está la justificación de tanto dinero desviado a SOSEP?
4. ¿Por qué tocaron la campana 20 minutos antes?
5. ¿¿¿¿DONDE ESTA PEPITO????!!!!!!!!
(6. Además, ahora que hemos publicado esto, ¿dónde están los chavos de XELAMAP?)

La Historia De Chom El Chompipe

Estaba un chompipe encerrado en una jaula y queria saltar a la jaula de la par para estar con una chompipa. El chompipe saltaba y saltaba pero no podia cruzar hasta que al fin pudo pasar a la otra jaula. Entonces la chompipa le preguntó ¿Como te llamas? Y el contestó me llamo Chom por que el pipe se quedó trabado allí arriba.

Vocabulary
chompipe	turkey
jaula	cage
pipe	slang for penis
trabado	locked or stuck

Festivals: January-February

jose — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:35:21 +0000

The following festivals can be found in or around Xela in the months of January-February:

Cristo Negro de Esquipulas	Sibilia	January 15
Cristo Negro de Esquipulas	Colomba	January 15
Virgen de Candelaria	San Juan Ostuncalco	February 2
Virgen de Candelaria	Flores Costa Cuca	February 2

Excursion: La Muela

jose — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:22:17 +0000

La Muela translates to The Molar, and once you get near the top of this hike you’ll be able to see where that name comes from. The route starts in Xela, and if you want to walk up the highway you can do that, but the bus will save you a kilometer of possibly dangerous roadside walking. Once on the trail up the hill, you’ll pass through beautiful fields and forests before reaching the volcanic rock fields that make up La Muela and the areas around it. The views from the top are great, and there are also further peaks that you can go to if you have a lot of time and are feeling adventerous.

From Parque Central, walk two blocks south, then two blocks east to get to the gas station where buses leave town.
Take a bus for Almolonga or Zunil. Tell the Ayudante that you want to go to La Muela. (Try to) pay only 1 Quetzal.
Follow the road up the hill.
Turn right at this dirt track.
Reach the soccer field! Take a break if you want.
Now the hike gets fun. Climb up the volcanic rockfield until you get to the top.