We’ll be putting a warning on the next paper map, but for now it’ll go here.
DON’T USE “5B” ATMs NEAR PARQUE CENTRAL.
In fact, maybe you’d be better off not to use ATMs near Parque Central at all, but the ones we’ve heard of people getting their card cloned from are the 5B ones.
Be careful!
Hiking to the top of Volcán Tajamulco easily makes the list of must-see, must-do attractions on the Guatemalan tourist trail. Though it’s the highest mountain in Central America at 4,220 meters (13,845 feet), it isn’t necessarily one of the most difficult hikes. To top things off (haha!), if you are there on a clear day you can see the entire volcano chain of Guatemala, the Ocean, Mexico, and many other things.
Many people do the hike overnight, and if you want to do that, we recommend using a tour company’s services. The sunset and sunrise probably make it worth it, but you should be warned that it’s very cold during the night. If, on the other hand, you decide to simply do a day hike, we provide here directions and maps to help you successfully reach the summit. The ascent takes 3 – 3 1/2 hours; the descent takes slightly less.
1. From Terminal Minerva catch a bus to San Marcos for Q10. You probably want to leave early in the morning, both to make sure you have reliable transportation back to Xela in the afternoon, and in order to have a better chance at clear views from the top.
2. At the San Marcos bus station walk around the main building to the upper parking lot. Microbuses leave from here that will be able to drop you off at the trailhead. Ask around, telling the ayudante or driver that you want to hike Volcán Tajamulco. The bus ride should be Q10 at the most, though your price may vary. It takes about 45 minutes to reach the trailhead.
3. Cross the road and head up the “paved” trail. Paved here means sort-of cobblestoned.
4. The hike is pretty straightforward – follow the trail.
5. When you reach this abandoned foundation, you have a choice. If you ascend the spine to the left, you’ll end up doing a little bit of more technical bouldering before reaching the top. If you want an easier hike head right and keep following the trail.
6. Congrats! Enjoy the view. Don’t shiver too much.
The following festivals can be found in or around Xela in the months of March/April 2010:
| 1er. Viernes de Cuaresma | Calvario (xela) | 19 de Febrero |
| 2do. Viernes de Cuaresma | Catedral (xela) | 26 de Febrero |
| 3er. Viernes de Cuaresma | San Bartolomé (xela) | 05 de Marzo |
| 4to. Viernes de Cuaresma | Trasfiguración (xela) | 12 de Marzo |
| 5to. Viernes de Cuaresma | San Nicolás (xela) | 19 de Marzo |
| 6to. Viernes de Cuaresma | San Juan de Dios (xela) | 26 de Marzo |
| Feria de Verano | Coatepeque | 15 de Marzo |
Powered by: Altiplano’s Tour Operator
English: Once upon a time, in hell, the devil created a set of challenges which, if completed, would allow escape to heaven. There were 3 tests:
1. Drink 15 liters of beer.
2. Kill a lion with your bare hands.
3. Have sex with a whore for 24 hours.
Only three people felt up to the challenge: an American, a Mexican and a Guatemalan.
The American said, “I’ll go first.” He chose to start by having sex with the whore. After the 24 hours, he went to fight the lion, but because he was so tired the lion immediately killed him and ate him.
The Mexican, being a real macho, said, “I think I’ll start with the lion,” but the second he entered the lion knocked him down and ate him.
The Guatemalan said, “Clearly I want to start with the booze.” He drank the 15 liters, and chose the lion next. There were crashes, they heard shouts and moans, and after three hours the very drunk Guatemalan stumbled out asking:
“Where’s the whore that I have to kill?”
Spanish: Erase una vez en el infierno un concurso de pruebas para poder ir al cielo. El diablo tenía 3 pruebas que eran:
1. Tomar 15 litros de cerveza.
2. Matar a un león solo a mano limpia.
3. Tener sexo con una puta durante 24 horas.
A este concurso solo se animaron 3 personas: un norteamericano, un mexicano y un guatemalteco.
El norteamericano dijo “yo voy primero”; él eligió tener sexo con la puta, luego de que lo hizo fue a matar al león pero el problema fue, que al estar tan cansado el león se lo comió.
El mexicano, siendo muy macho, dijo “Yo prefiero matar primero al león” pero no pudo y el león le pegó muy fuerte y se lo comió.
El chapín dijo “A huevos que le entro al guaro”. Entonces el tomo los 15 litros, luego fue con el león, hubo forcejeo, se escucharon gritos, gruñidos y a las 3 horas sale el guatemalteco muy borracho y dice.
“¿En dónde está la puta que hay que matar?”
